I knew the truth
From the beginning I knew about her
I had fallen so far out of love with you by then
I know
I knew about all the time with her
I had nothing left to give you by then
For once in my life I felt
No anger
No jealousness
No self hate
No self body shaming
No crying
No emotions at all
I used to wear my emotions on my sleeve
I used to act before thinking
I used to be the crazy you made me
Now, to finally feel absolutely nothing
To have emotions but only when there deserved
To not compare myself to them
To not let you have the power to bring out that hatred in me
I knew
I choose not to give to shit
I choose to let you go before her
I choose to not be angry over someone I no
Longer wanted
I choose to let her have you
So I didn’t have to deal with you
I choose not to bring her up
Cuz I no longer have that fight in me
The questions that will never get answered
The lies will continue
The betrayal will always be
I used to be in love with you
I used to be all about you
I used to be an insecure, broken, emotional mess
I was what you made
Now I’m about me!
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This poem is a wonderful affirmation of self. Love it! I am having a lazy day. Deep in thought about things, wondering what it all means in the end. Oh, well, my deep thoughts have now turned into what’s for dinner. Haha. How are things going at home? Are you having any luck keeping it together? I go to our place for some much needed sanity and peace. And laughter! I will swing you in the hammock there and sing you a soft tune with my guitar. You are in my heart, dear friend!
Hahah what did you end up making? I am trying my best. We had a family day yesterday went to the beach movies and dinner. The fire is bad over here they shut down all schools for the rest of the week. You play guitar too? You are such a talented individual full of light and I’m so thankful for you.
For dinner decided on spaghetti and meat balls with garlic bread. I cheat on this using Frozen meatballs from the store and frozen garlic bread that you pop into the oven. I guess the tomato sauce will have to serve as the vegetable. Hahah. Your family outing sounds nice. I would love to go to the beach. Do you have to wear a mask when you go outside because of the smoke? I am thankful for you too, my friend.
Haha, so do I that garlic bread and meatballs I find are just as good. It was nice cold but nice. I did dislocate my knee, hahaha, and had to pop it back in. This is the second time this has happened to me. Both times, I fell in a hole, hahah at my house, then popped it back and rapped it. Then at the beach, I fell in a hole, and then the wave hit me, which made it worst I think. Wasn’t able to wrap it until today, so it’s really sore. But good times, my son also snuck up on me and tackled me into the water, so that was funny, hahah cold but funny. No we don’t we probably should wear a mask though.