I’m Sorry but This is Me Most of The Time

My in-laws are over
I was not up to cleaning
Nor am I up for the socializing I now have to be apart of
I am in my pajamas
Look a hot mess
I’m sorry but this is me most of the time
I will always choose comfort over beauty I suppose
They ask me to place a food order
Which takes me awhile to do correctly
Brain questioning me the entire time
I try so hard,
to stand there
I try so hard,
to keep this smile on myself
I try so hard,
to keep socializing
I try so hard,
for them not to notice me leaning on anything I possibly can
I try so hard,
For them to not notice my shakingness
Unsteadiness
Brain fog
I try so hard,
For my brain to catch up to my mouth
I hope they didn’t notice
I hope I didn’t look stupid
I hope my ghettoness didn’t offend them
I hope they dont judge my dirty house that I was just not up to clean
I hope they dont hate all they cant see

✍️3/3/24  330pm