I Was Left Behind by a father
A father that claimed me for six years
Claimed me all while knowing I wasn’t his
Then disowned me when he remarried
And told me I wasn’t his
I had know idea why he would tell me this
My sister confirmed it
When a little older I questioned my mother
Do you know his name?
She tells a already damaged teenager
That he was a one night stand
He knew about me and didn’t want anything to do with me
As I walked away talking what my mother said to heart
I had nothing to try and find him
Not even a name
I went on with my life
Had kids
Tried to have my crackhead sister find him
Complete failure of course
I got sick over the years
Really sick
Asked mother again about him
She then tells me
She told him she was aborting me
He never knew she didn’t
She also knew his name
Years of me thinking he knew and just wanted nothing
To do with me
Now to know a name and he never knew
Years later I finally got a answer to my illness
I had Multiple Sclerosis
I then did a ancestry dna test
Wanted to see if my illness was inherited
I found my spea** doner
I even spoke to him
Turns out I shouldn’t have
Turns out I didn’t miss out on anything
He has been in and out of prison my whole life
He was married at the time I was conceived
He already had two girls
He has not been in their entire lives
And he’s a junky
My mother slept with him because her husband was cheating on her
My mother slept with him to pay for a dope bag
The result of that high was me
She then told me she was going to abort me
But was to far along
I lived a different life then my brother and sister
I bounced around from moms new boyfriend to new boyfriend
From my grandparents to my aunt
To back running with my mom
You see I’ve been disowned before
I’ve been abandoned before
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Your poem was so heart-rending. From your poem I can just feel that heart broken kid that you were. I am having a hard time keeping on the mask of sanity these days. Pain, shaking and depression are constant . Shaking so badly I couldn’t do much of anything. I was quite a sight trying to eat my lunch. Noodle soup everywhere! Hahah🤣. I am in our special place a lot. I feel so free and alive there. How are you doing, my friend? Are you able to keep it together? I especially like to think of us sitting on our old quilt, sipping tea and laughing together. How about you?
🤣🤣 I could imagine you trying to eat your lunch, oh man. I’m sorry you’re stuck in that state. I know when you’re in our place with me, you’re at least happy, and that brings you some peace. As it does for me, I’ve been trying to work on my blog and edit. Haven’t written it a while. I definitely need to this blurred vision really makes trying to read and write hard and painful. I think it might have something to do with why I’ve been having migraines every day as well. Still no answer from nero and tried to scedule with new nero and the scheduler keeps hanging up on me uggg!
Well, I can tell you one thing- I decided not to have soup for lunch. A nice safe sandwich instead. Hahah 🤣. I am so sorry about your eyesight. That must be a great trial for you. Those daily migraines must be awful. I don’t see how you keep going with all of your challenges. Plus a family to take care of. In our place I have picked you a bouquet of wildflowers as a thank you for our friendship. We frequently get to laughing about something so hard that we can hardly breathe. It does me so much good to be there with you! 🤗
Our place seems to be the only thing keeping us sane these days. Lol, that would’ve been a mess. It definitely is a challenge driving and reading, lol. Would’ve defenetly givin up if it wasn’t for my kids, which is why a lot of people are still here, I’m sure.
What a tragic poem. Words matter and parents can really screw up the lives of their children, can’t they? Until their children embrace the fact that they are precious human beings, and no matter their pasts, are deserving of happiness and love. I hope that’s the unspoken end to the poem.
Yes they can,
So heartbreaking, Lynn. I take it this is a true story. I’m so sorry and salute your bravery and courage. Life sucks sometimes and yet resiliency is a gift. 💝💔
Yes, all my poetry is my real-life experiences.Thank you for your comment
A bullet to the heart but keep them away from yours.. it’s too beautiful. You’re very welcome💕
Aww, thank you so much. I definitely try
Not sure my comment made it, Lynn Rose?💓
Yes, I just got it later then you posted it seems
My heart breaks reading this Lynn Rose. I tried to comment reading it all and not sure it went through. Life isn’t fair and being the “product this so unjust” I’m so sorry you had to endure this and I salute your courage and bravery. 💓💔❣️
It seems your comments are just now posting. I’m not sure why, but I did receive them. Thank you for taking the time to read it and commenting. 🤗
You’re so very welcome.. it’s my pleasure. Sending love💕
Hi Lynn Rose, are you gettin my comments?
Just now, thank you, Cindy seems jetpack is lagging
👏👏
So very sad
Can you tell me a bit about your kids?
I have two my son is 14 my daughter is 10. My son basically grew up with me I had him when I was 18. He loves basketball and is so good compared to me at his age. My daughter is a mini me in terms of attitude and personality. Both are very well behaved compared to most hahah. Very grateful for them I would have definitely tapped out a long time ago if it wasn’t for them.
It is good to find out more about your kids. I can tell that you really love them. They are lucky to have a mother who loves them like you do! I hope you have a great weekend. In our place I can take off the mask of sanity and just relax there with you. What a beautiful place to be! 🤗🤗
This is beautiful! Thanks for sharing
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