I try and fake it most days
Most days I can
Most days I can even make myself believe the lie
It has become a routine I have in my head
I tell myself over and over you can do this
You got this
You will not fall
You can do this
Over and over in my head I tell myself these things
Almost in hope that my inner illness will hear
Sometimes I can push through it
Sometimes I can talk it down
But sometimes I can’t
Sometimes I feel like my legs will give out if I don’t sit right then
Sometimes I don’t think I can finish the dinner I started
Sometimes I need to ask for help
But don’t in fear I will get judged for something they can not see
Sometimes my body completely fails me
And know one notices
No one sees the tremors
The unsteadiness I live with daily
Not knowing what symptom I will have tomorrow or how long it will last
The not knowing everyday
I wonder if others even notice when i’m having a hard time
If they notice my body betraying me
If they notice me struggling
If they notice how hard i’m fighting
Most times I can hide this invisible illness I live with daily
Most days everyone in my life forgets i’m sick
They have even made me forget sometimes
I have become as invisible as the disease I have
But some days this illness really gets the best of me
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I hear you, Lynn! This poem speaks so well about what it is like to have a silent illness. I am doing pretty well today. Some shaking and always the pain, but it is manageable. I have an eye exam this afternoon and will get a new style of frames. Hope that I have chosen the frame style wisely. Don’t want to end up looking like a nerd. Haha. A part of me is always in our special peaceful place. How beautiful it is there. How full of joy and laughter! How are you doing today?
Haha, I’m sure going to look amazing in your new frames. A part of me stays there as well. I am currently dragging with fatigue, which seems to have taken over me the past few days. I stopped taking my upper pill, which I’m just realizing might be why hahah thought it didn’t do much for me. I guess it does, lol.
Hope that you are feeling better tomorrow, and that you have a good weekend. 🤗🤗
I’ve known several people who have had MS, and they struggled with the ups and downs of it. In fact, some of them were nurses. I don’t know if that’s coincidence, because nursing is a high-stress job, or what. You have a positive attitude, and you seem like a strong person. Hang tough!
Maybe stress does have a huge impact. Thank you so much for your kind words. I keep pushing…
This really hits home
This is such a beautifully written poem about the truth of an invisible illness.
This poem is wonderfully written
hugs, dear Lynn…🤗🤍
🤗
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