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My Body’s Been Fighting Me A Little Harder Today

My Bodys

Lately My Body Has
been against me
I wake to feeling like complete crap
The reality is I should be used to it
I lay in bed feeling like a train hit me
That’s when I start asking myself that same question
I seem to always ask myself
What’s wrong with me?
Then I laugh at myself every time
I haven’t cleaned yet
Haven’t done anything productive
Feel like I have so much to do
But my body’s fighting me a little harder today
That’s when the thoughts start to creep in
The ones that see your struggling
So they pull you further down
It’s now been hours of me giving my body a rest
I get up to clean
That’s when the dizziness kicks in
I try and push thru
I start to cook
That’s when the unsteadiness sets in
I have to go lay down for a moment
As the thoughts flood me
Can I finish this?
I have to!
I wish he would see me struggling
I wish he would take over for me
I get back in the kitchen before it burns
As my head is spinning
“I don’t think I can finish this!”
I have to lay down now before I fall
As I start doubting myself
Those thoughts really get the best of me sometimes
I finished that dinner
The entire time, I was fighting against myself
Fighting my body with all I had
Invisible the entire time

Lately my Body, Invisible Illness Poetry

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32 thoughts on “My Body’s Been Fighting Me A Little Harder Today”

  1. What a powerful poem! I can feel you trying to push through, Lynn! I can feel you struggling with the thoughts that drag you down. I can understand these things, because I have an invisible illness, too. I wish that I could to more to help you feel better. But at least I can give you a virtual hug and take you for a bit to our special place for some peace and comfort. There you are! So good to see you! Lay down on the pretty old quilt for a while. The sun will warm every inch of your tired body. These hands of mine may be old and arthritic,, but they can still offer you a virtual temple massage if you would like. Betsy will give your hand a little lick. There is nothing but love and peace here. We soak our weary souls in it. 🤗

    1. Thank you, Susan hahah would love a virtual temple massage. What a beautiful place so peaceful. I am currently still at my observation appointment. I did take the medication, though they are still monitoring my heart. Been here since 1 uggg

  2. as beautiful a flow …. touching felt, Lynn…
    one day at a time…or one moment at a time… only you’ll know what works best for you ,dear Lynn .
    hugs and lots of happy thoughts your way.🤗
    🤍

    1. This medication only tries to prevent my disease from getting worse. It doesn’t take away all my current symptoms or erase the current damage that this relapse has left. I called nero today, but they didn’t answer they might have to put me on steroid infusions to ease current symptoms, idk yet though.

  3. I guess I was hoping that the medicine would be a way to keep the symptoms at bay for you. Have you had the steroid infusions before? Remember- that virtual temple massage is always available. Hahah 🤗

    1. It does once it’s in my system, I suppose, but I can’t eliminate current ones. I have had the steroids when first diagnosed didn’t notice a difference, to be honest. Awww, it feels so good in our place with the massage. These migraines are horrible

  4. Now that your fight to get back on your medicine is over, how are you feeling? Perhaps since all the damn symptoms are still there, you might be left with a let down feeling or depression about things. Anyway, tell me about it. In our place the wildflowers are everywhere! White trilliums, beautiful pink spring beauties like a carpet in the woods. Little purple violets grow in clumps. The air smells wonderful! A little walk in the woods can do wonders in the springtime. There is peace here.

    1. You hit in on the head. I’m mad, honestly so mad, so dam depressed so completely alone. Everyone in my life doesn’t see me see how much I’m struggling. My husband, most of all, thinks this pill is a magic remedy, and now I’m healed and whole. He doesn’t understand anything nor cares to. I’m emotionally just broken. My vision is not improving the pain is constant, and I’m over it. If I didn’t have our special place I’d be completely lost so thank you for that and you always checking in on me it means so much. It’s absolutely beautiful there. How are you doing friend? How did your appointment go? Did they give you something or help you? Have a good weekend, friend. As all be in our special place, most of it.

      1. I went for my appointment about my arthritis, but there is not much they can do for the constant pain. I am shaking and filled with depression and fatigue. We are quite a pair aren’t we? I suggest that we spend as much of the weekend as possible together in our special place. Sounds good to me! We deserve some peace. You ready for that massage?

  5. It is chilly in our special place today so I built a fire for us to enjoy. It is really burning nicely now, and the radiant heat feels so very good. I love to stare at a fire. Just sit there and stare and think of nothing in particular. It soothes my soul. I will keep the fire burning all weekend for us. There will be marshmallows to roast. Happy weekend, dear friend. 🤗

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